What anxiety did to me - Custard Puffs

I received a very important call this week. Ever since then, my heart beat faster and I was so full of anxiety that I needed to do / make something.

Usually, I'd avoid doing / making something challenging before a 'big' event so I could calm myself & relax the mind. But anxiety got the better of me and I went on to make some Custard Puffs. I was craving for them a few days before; the call I received just 'pushed' me to bake the pastries.

I thought of making Chantilly Cream for the filling, something which I haven't done before, but I think I was more craving for custard than anything else. So custard filling it was.

It felt good having my craving satisfied. But I wasn't too sure the puffs drove my anxieties away ; P

Pastry (Adapted from Dorie Greenspan's "Baking")

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup whole milk

8 tblsp unsalted butter, cut into 8 pieces

1 tblsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup plain flour

4 large eggs

1) Preheat oven to 220C (425F). Bring the water, milk, butter, sugar & salt to a boil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat.

2) Add the flour all at once & mix it in with a wooden spoon, then keep stirring energetically until the dough comes together in a shiny mass. Turn off the heat. Cook the dough for another 1-2 minutes, stirring constantly, then transfer the hot dough to a bowl of a stand mixer.

3) Using a paddle attachment, beat in the eggs one at a time. Beat the egg until fully incorporated before adding the next one. The dough should be thick, shiny & silky.

4) Spoon / pipe the dough onto the lined baking sheet, leaving some space apart. Bake for 10-15mins; the pastries will start to puff. Then reduce the temp to 190C (375F). Rotate the tray. Bake for another 15mins or until the pastries are brown & firm.

5) Transfer the baking sheet to a rack & let them cool completely before piping the filling in.

Custard filling

2 tblsp custard powder

2 tblsp caster sugar

570ml fresh milk

1) Using a balloon whisk, mix custard powder, caster sugar & 2 tblsp of fresh milk in a saucepan.

2) Pour the rest of the milk & put on fire. Keep stirring the mixture to prevent curdling.

3) Cook until the mixture is thick. Cover custard mixture with clingfilm & cool before using.

Recipes for Lemon Meringue Pie & Baked Potatoes

Lemon Meringue Pie (using a 25cm/10" pie plate)

Rich Short Crust Pastry:

165g flour

150g pastry margarine, chilled & cubed

2 tblsp icing sugar

1 1/2 tblsp iced water

Method:

1) Process the flour in a food processor with icing sugar & butter until the mixture resembles coarse breadcrumbs (also known as the rubbing-in method). Add iced water; process just until the mixture comes together in a ball.

2) Turn pastry out onto a lightly floured surface; knead it gently until smooth & press into a 15-cm disc. Wrap in clingwarp & chill for 30mins.

3) Preheat oven to 180C. Roll out pastry to a 33-cm (13") round about 5mm thick. Pierce the base several times with a fork.

4) Line the pastry with baking papaer & half-fill with dried beans or rice. Bake for 15mins. Remove paper & beans or rice & cook for further 10mins or until light golden & aromatic. Leave pastry case to cool then spoon filling into it, smoothing the top.

Filling:

170g caster sugar

60g cornflour

Finely grated zest of 3 lemons

80ml lemon juice, strained

185ml milk

3 egg yolks

Method:

1) Put the caster sugar & cornflour in a asaucepan. Combine the lemon zest & lemon juice & the milk & add to the pan. Stir constantly over a medium heat until mixture comes to the boil. Remove from heat, add egg yolks & mix well to combine.

*You can choose to chill the filling for 2hrs if preferred.

Meringue:

3 egg whites

Pinch of cream of tartar

80g caster sugar

Method:

1) Whisk the egg whites in a bowl with the cream of tartar until soft peaks form. Add sugar, a spoonful at a time, beating well after each addition. The meringue should be thick & shiny.

2)Spread the meringue over the lemon filling, making sure it forms a seal all around the pastry shell to prevent filling overheating (which could cause it to separate).

3) Bake for 10mins or until the meringue is a light golden colour.

Baked Potatoes

2 cloves garlic, peeled

1kg potatoes, peeled & thinly sliced

100g gruyere cheese

2 cups fresh milk

1/2 cup thick cream

ground black pepper to taste

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

4 tblsp butter

Method:

1) Preheat oven to 190C

2) Bruise the garlic & spread on a 35x23x5cm baking tray. Arrange potato slices in layers on the tray to resemble fish scales. Sprinkle cheese on top. Repeat the layering & sprinkling of cheese until all the potatoes are used up.

3) In another bowl, mix the fresh milk, thick cream, ground black pepper, salt & nutmeg. Pour the mixture onto the potatoes on the baking tray. Drop butter on top of the mixture & bake in the oven for 45 minutes until dry & the potatoes are golden brown.